Nothing about this Halloween is going to plan. First, one of the most popular costumes is basically an ageing My Chemical Romance fan (Suicide Squad’s Harley Quinn) and an online troll (the guy from V for Vendetta slash Jack White in Get Behind Me Satan-era White Stripes). Second, the innocent tradition of dressing up like a clown has taken a turn for the John Carpenter thanks to the recent creepy clown phenomenon. Forget Ronald McDonald and Michael Jackson in full makeup and a strange wig – now there’s a sinister side to the proceedings. Who would have thunk it?
In a babydoll dress, a platinum-blond wig and a bleeding nose, you’re basically Courtney Love in all her Miss World-era glory. Add some knee-high socks, a blue jacket and some waffles, though, and you will turn into Eleven from Stranger Things, 2016’s television breakout star (soz, Blac Chyna). The Eleven costume is also much better than tedious Halloween stalwarts: sexy witch, sexy cat, sexy mermaid. Just make sure that the Victoriana dress isn’t too steampunk or you will come off as a sexy Eleven, and that’s just wrong.
There are many eras of Prince to choose from. Dirty Mind era (trench coat and bikini briefs) and the Under the Cherry Moon era (John Waters moustache and caballero hat) are just two of the most beloved, but the most Halloweened will be his Purple Rain look: purple trench, a ruffle shirt and lots of chest hair. The science is inexact, though, and there’s a danger you will look as if you’re participating in a Fraggle Rock cosplay if you don’t proceed with tonal and stylistic caution.
If Pokémon Go is about catching ’em all, it is especially about catching the rarities – Pikachu, Squirtle, Gyarados. But, for Halloween, it’s all about the route-one lol, so best to go for the common Rattata (3.5kg in weight, 0.3m in height, fact fans). The purple, fanged rodent is everywhere in the game, mirroring the rat-infested urban environment where most of its players reside. By going as a Rattata at Halloween, you’re making a statement about how we live now, and nodding to the real-life pizza rat that became a YouTube star. Sidenote: this is a purple option that provides an alternative to Prince.
Sure, paid-up members of the Bey Hive might go for the fur coat and sports bra of Don’t Hurt Yourself or the classic Knowles work with leotard and boots for Sorry (accessorised with the most decorated tennis player of all time, Serena Williams). But the first track on Lemonade, Hold Up, is the one that has the most real-person-appropriate outfit to ape for Halloween. Find yourself a mustard-yellow, frilly, floor-length dress, some platforms and a baseball bat and you’re golden. Arrive in a monster truck for bonus points.
Ah, Donald. While the US elections will still be eight days away on Halloween, this news-cycle-worthy costume choice is sure to be popular. And, political allegiances aside, it is an easy choice for a straight-from-the-office situation. Add a wispy blonde wig and a red tie to your suit for instant recognition from anyone who has even glanced at the news over the past few weeks. Appropriate facial expressions will help your Trump trump the other Trumps at the party. Keep your mouth pursed at all times, as if ready to let rip with an ill-advised statement any minute.