The ‘world’s oldest stripper’, 82-year-old Lynn doesn’t believe in acting her age, instead she likes to shed her clothes for an audience by burlesque dancing.
She has convinced London’s Royal Vauxhall Tavern to host her one-woman show and she needs to stock up on props for her routine.
Lynn ventures to her favourite sex shop and gets help from an assistant who immediately recognises the pensioner.
Lynn is a burlesque star on the search for the perfect prop
That means testing out the latest sex toys
Jane is desperate to be famous
Nothing is too shocking for Lynn, who tests out a vibrator which she says “is like a puppy” before she stocks up on condoms to throw out to her adoring audience.
On spotting a tub of Crisco oil on the shelf, she says of the cooking aid: “It cost half as much in the forties because we didn’t use it for f**ting we used it for pie crusts.”
Lynn’s performance goes down a storm and there’s even promise of a regular gig in the future as the OAP gets a standing ovation.
She believes she can be as big as Beyonce
Wannabe star Jane Buckle has been bitten by the fame bug after a clip of her outrageous dancing went viral, but she’s struggling to drum up any interest in the entertainment industry.
“My dream is to be the most famous person on the planet, but I want it so badly,” she says, “I probably could be as famous as Beyonce.”
There’s also wild child Anna-Lisa who refuses to act her age: “I don’t do conventional, that’s a no no. I refuse to get old in my mind. The worst way to grow old is to give up.”
Anna Lisa is far from the conventional OAP
The blonde and redhead would rather hand out with her 18-year-old granddaughter in a pub than go down to the bingo hall, and wants nothing more than to live life to the full.
Sophia is 72 and single and she’s on the hunt for love. But she doesn’t want any old person she wants a toyboy.
“I won’t go out with old ones because they’re old, I’d rather have them younger. I personally think they have got more energy.”
Her online dating mission doesn’t prove fruitful as she ends up being stood up by a younger chap, but that doesn’t put her off: “I wouldn’t let an experience like this stop me at all.”
* Party Pensioners, Sex, Drugs and Bingo is on Channel 5, Tuesday at 10pm